The Peace in the Pause: When God Makes You Wait - Episode 15

In The Peace in the Pause, I’m reflecting on the season when COVID forced me to stop, breathe, and finally confront the exhaustion I had been pushing through for years. After running a restaurant, overworking my body, and trying to force the next move, the pause became uncomfortable, emotional, and necessary.

This conversation is about stillness as more than rest. It can be redirection. It can be protection. It can be the place where God rebuilds my faith, restores my body, and teaches me how to trust without needing to control every outcome.

I share how closed doors, failed pivots, and uncertainty eventually showed me that the pause was not punishment. It was preparation. Sometimes what feels like nothing happening is the very space where clarity, peace, and alignment begin to form.

If you have been feeling guilty for slowing down or afraid of what comes next, this is your reminder that pausing does not mean you are lazy. Stillness can be sacred. Rest can be obedience. And peace can meet you right in the middle of the unknown.

Take ten quiet minutes this week. No phone. No noise. No distractions. Just listen. You may hear exactly what you have been too busy to receive. 

The Spiritual Realist is edited and produced by Organized Movements

Recorded at Privicast Studio

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Transcript

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This is The Spiritual Realist, and I'm Scarlett Drown. This is a space for honest conversation about spirituality, individuality, and growth. Welcome to opening your mind without pressure, performance, or pretending. From beautiful heavenly minded, but earthly good.

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From church friends to create. Mama had a Bible open. Grandma had a jar of root.

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But the dirt still know the truth.

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Let's begin.

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Scarlet draw speak.

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So first we're gonna start off with our sound bowl, moving any negative energy and any distraction while we spend this time together. Today we have a treat for you. We're going to use the flower blue lotus. And I have some actual leaves here in my handy dandy alabaster box. And this is what it is. They're little purple, violent, blue leaves. And so we have the tea version today, and it's actually a vibrant blue. I love this tea. It's something that I drink at night to help open up my dreams and things like that. And I'm gonna take a sip and then we're gonna get started. Blue lotus encourages stillness and awareness, deepens meditation and reflection, it slows mental activity without the resistance. And last but not least, it supports spiritual insight during quiet moments, and it helps the mind become receptive instead of reactive. So today we use Blue Lotus because we're going to talk about stillness and what stillness does spiritually, physically, and emotionally to us as humans, right? So I have a good story about stillness and actually when a spirit-given pause is ushered into your life. And this pause was literally COVID. And I know we're all stuck and we all were still, we all pause. And I do believe that that was an ordained pause for the world, right? However, it affected people personally in different ways, and it affected me personally in a different way because it is how I catapulted into this. And so everyone knows, and we've already stated that I owned a restaurant pre-COVID, and COVID actually put a pause in that. And during that time of pause and stop and just not knowing, right? I literally was trying to force myself to do something in between in the meantime. I wasn't comfortable with the pause, I wasn't comfortable with the stillness, I wasn't comfortable in my own skin, literally with the not knowing, right? And so I literally just started doing things. Now, quick intermission on this story. I also, during this pause, learned to reconnect with my creative side. I started painting again, I started singing again, I started creating jewelry again, I started taking walks, and I hadn't done that in years. I mean, I was at the restaurant by 4:20, and some days we didn't even leave the restaurant until four o'clock, five o'clock. And so I didn't even realize I was exhausted. I didn't even realize that I was burnt out. I had no idea that my physical body needed rest. True story, I was taking like, I don't know, four or five sleeping pills, titanol P.M. So let me be clear. Just to rest. And I was going to bed at two and three o'clock in the morning, and I was up by six because I got this prayer regimen that I'm starting and I'm meditating, and my body just didn't know how to pause. I didn't know. I couldn't maneuver it. And so I just didn't understand why I couldn't find a pivot, right? I could not grip, I could not find a smooth avenue to changing what was an always consistent goal to a enjoy, take time out, relax, breathe. It's okay. And so with that being said, I wanted to talk about how sometimes those moments of stillness and those moments of pause are God-given to recharge you, to recalibrate you, to reorganize your train of thought or your trajectory on where you're going. Because sometimes we move in a way that feels beneficial when actually it's the opposite of what our purpose is and given what we came to do on this earth. And so finally things are starting to open, and I am, you know, trying to get these loans and things like that, because we're a restaurant, right? They had all this money out there, and all the doors were just closing in my face. Like whether I didn't have the paperwork right, and by the time I got the paperwork right, you know, it was denied because there was no more funding or whatever, right? And finally, I had an advocate finally reach out to me and he stated to me, he said, listen, you can get half a meal. Straight up, 500K. Because our restaurant really was a good, it was small, but it was really a good restaurant. And he said, but you're gonna have to commit to at least staying in business for five more years. What? Who? Like, I had already finally started relaxing. I had already started getting okay, being okay with not the hustle and bustle of the restaurant. I had already evened out my financial plan and worked out how we could survive this, you know, for however long with money still coming in on little things. You know, so you're telling me now you want me to go back into working 18 hours a day, slaving in the heated, hot kitchen, and I gotta commit to five years of that? When sideline, COVID was a blessing to me. It allowed me to breathe for the first time in like three years. It allowed me rest that I didn't even know I needed. I didn't even know I wanted. I didn't even know it was possible for me to do. Let me slow down for a minute. So before I even got to the point where I was okay with accepting that I'm about to walk away from this restaurant, this money, my financial stability, there was a fear that gripped my soul. Because while I knew that I didn't want to necessarily go back in the kitchen, everything I tried, every pivot I tried, Amazon store, real estate, online classes, workshops that I tried to get off the ground and tried to get moving to try to bring supplemental income in. Failed. Straight up, flat out, nope, door closed, in your face, not doing it, not having it. This ain't what you're supposed to do. This ain't where you're supposed to be. What did I feel? I had so many emotions, like a failure, like I'm a person that anything I touch kind of turns the goal, or I'm able to perfect that thing. Like, that's the Gemini in me. So failing consecutively back to back on different things, trying to create revenue because I needed a reason to say no, I don't want this money. I needed a backing to say, I don't have to accept this because look, this venture over here is doing good and it might be slow, but it's gonna pick up. Nothing. There was nothing. And when I say nothing, I mean zero. Not one thing happened. And so the pause became fear and regret and hard to sit in because I didn't know what was next. Like I had no earthly idea what I could do, where I needed to go, and how I needed to move forward without accepting this money. Truth of the matter is, it was a blank. I was drawing the blank, I couldn't focus, my anxiety was at an all-time high because I knew that there needed to be income, but I also knew that that thing, that restaurant, was sucking the dear life out of me. What am I supposed to do in this pause? How am I supposed to manifest and work through? And at the same time, I was starting my spiritual journey. And so, as far as like getting involved in other means of spirituality, and I just at the time didn't even think about that I was my faith, right, was needing something to grasp hold to. And so that caused me to sit back, breathe through it, and say, okay, God, clearly there's a reason why you have me being still. There's a reason why you have me being in a position that my faith, my assets, my life, my strength is only coming from you. And I had to do that. Now, to be clear, my spouse had a job outside, but I'm a person that is used to being a provider. I'm a person that's used to work. I've worked since I was 12. I am a person that is used to bringing in income and being 50-50. And this is going to make me rely on God and my spouse. That's it. And now I love her. She do what she does, she makes it do what it does without question. She is a provider. But still, though, the control in me, the control freak in me could not understand why God would say, Ah, I'm gonna take that control out of your hand, and you're gonna watch me move. And he did. He moved in a mighty way because here I am today. It took about maybe two years for me to actually sit in the pause. And to some that may be fast, to some that may be slow, but for me, it was an evolution. It was over time that I was able to sit back and allow myself to feel worthy enough to take a pause. Because truth of the matter is, it's not that I didn't need a pause, it's not that I didn't deserve a pause, but the guilt of actually pausing is heavier than the guilt of actually overworking myself. Because truth of the matter is I'm an overachiever, and being made to sit in that stillness and in that pause was greater to me than it was to actually be working 16 to 18 hours a day. That was an easier pill to swallow than sit bang, let God do it. You worked for a long time. I worked for a very long time. Sometimes I had two jobs at a time because I believe in equality in the marriage. That's on y'all, they got nothing to do with me, how you live your life. I ain't judging you. I'm just saying. So I am a person that always likes to be on the go. And spirituality showed me that sometimes you have to be still in order for God to open up doors for you to go through them. And so, you know, I did the work. I started practicing my spirituality on a daily basis. What that pause got me was an intimate relationship with God because now I am trusting him for everything I got. I am no longer working on my mechanical, physical work ethic. If God is not providing it, it ain't getting provided. So if our car broke down and we need a new car, I gotta trust God that he's gonna open that door for me to even get a new car. Because we got one income coming in. Versus, I don't really have to trust God, I can just go to the car lot and get it because we got enough money coming in to pay the down payment, pay the monthly payments, and pay in advance. You understand what I'm saying? So for me, the stillness taught me true trust, taught me true faith, taught me true ability to manifest something out of nothing. I mean, when I say out of nothing, let me tell y'all, and this is straight up God honest the truth. When COVID hit, we were living in a 1,200 square feet house. That's not a lot of house. Okay. We had three people, two cats and a dog. Then we took in other people. We still in a three-bedroom. As a matter of fact, it was a two-bedroom, and we made one of the rooms a room. Okay. And we lost income because we lost the restaurant, which brought good money. My wife got sick. Our daughter had things. And at the end of the day, within one year of losing the restaurant, I was able to, I wouldn't say I, God opened the door for us to buy a 4,000 square feet house, sell that house at maximum price, okay, with one income, which it took us two incomes to buy the first house. In the middle of a pandemic when people wasn't working. I didn't get no SBA money. I didn't take any side money from anybody. I've trusted God. I say, Lord, we need a bigger house. Just like that. So don't tell me that a pause isn't beneficial. Because sometimes it takes a pause to get you to the next level. And that's exactly what happened. Once I let go of the guilt of actually being still and pausing, God moved. And again, here we are today. All of this is because I accepted and allowed a pause in my life. Right now, in this moment, I want you to think about what area in life you need to pause. Think about what area you need to actually be still in. Think about an area in your life where you are making moves that are seemingly impossible and closing in your face. Maybe that's a sign from your spirit team and your God that you need a pause. Because stillness doesn't mean that you're empty. Pausing can bring about awareness and clarity. Having urgency does not mean that it's dwelling in truth. When you're always moving and on the go, you cannot hear yourself. There needs to be a calming so that you can decipher that direction. Rest does not mean that you are being disobedient. And that is important to take note of. Because sometimes stopping, pausing, and stillness shows you what you need to do to be in alignment for your assignment. One thing I want to remind you guys of is you are not lazy. And I flipped some cards today, and these are cards of affirmation for settling yourself and being in a pause. And I got these cards when I was in the pause. And this card says, I am not lazy. Because pausing doesn't mean you're lazy. This week, I want you to find a quiet space where there is no distractions, no cell phone, no TV, no ringers, no Instagram, no Facebook, no Twitter, no TikTok, whatever. And I want you to reflect for 10 minutes in stillness. And in reflecting, listen. Listen for clarity. Listen for directions. Listen for paths forward. Listen for solutions. Because in that stillness, you'll hear God. I'm Scarlet Drought, heavenly minded and earthly good. And as always, let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight. O Lord, my strength and my redeemer. Don't forget to be still.

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From church friends to create.

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If something about this episode stays with you, then you're exactly who this space is for. Share with a friend you think should be here too. You can watch on YouTube, listen on all the podcast platforms, and continue the conversation at the spiritual realist. I'm Scarlet Drought, heavenly minded, but earthly good. Until next time, The Spiritual Realist is produced by Organized Movement.